Cannon Balls! Did you know this?

Ragman

Veteran Expediter
Retired Expediter
It was necessery to keep a good supply of cannon balls near the cannon on old war ships. But how to prevent them from rolling about the deck was a problem.
The storage method devised was to stack them as a square based pyramid, with one ball on top, resting on four, resting on nine, which rested on sixteeen.

Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem -- how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding/rolling from under the others.

The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey. But if this plate was made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make them of brass - hence, Brass Monkeys.

Few lamdlubbers realized that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.

Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannon balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls of a brass monkey.

And all this time, folks thought that was just a rude expression.

:D :D :D
 

Turtle

Administrator
Staff member
Retired Expediter
The solution was a metal plate with 16 round indentations, called, for reasons unknown, a Monkey.
The reason that the reasons are unknown is because whoever made that up wasn't clever enough to also make up a reason. They weren't called Monkeys, brass or any other kind. Cannon balls were not stored on deck long term in the salt air and spray on the off chance that a warship moving at a snail's pace would sneak up on them. They were stored below deck under waxed tarps to keep them from rusting. When they were brought up on deck they were placed not into dimpled metal plates, but into wooden frames that held the balls into place.

The earliest uses of the "cold enough" in relation to a brass monkey was cold enough to freeze the ears, nose, feet and tail off a brass monkey, so it naturally follows that other external items of a monkey would also be used. Many references wete also of the "hot enough" variety, as in hot enough to singe the hair or tail off a brass monkey.

No one knows where the true origin of the cold/hot enough for a brass monkey originated. These types of Internet-invented etymologies come from the same types of folks who brought you the origins of "raining cats and dogs" as being the thatched roofs of early farmhouses upon which livestock routinely grazed upon and pets played upon, and whenever it rained the animals slipped off the roof, raining animals. It's raining yaks and oxen.
 

Moot

Veteran Expediter
Owner/Operator
What's the history behind the age old saying: Colder than a well digger's aśś.
 

Turtle

Administrator
Staff member
Retired Expediter
What's the history behind the age old saying: Colder than a well digger's aśś.

Probably some Swedish well digger crawled out of a well and noted, "Goodness gracious Schnookems my aśś is so cold!"
 

Ragman

Veteran Expediter
Retired Expediter
The reason that the reasons are unknown is because whoever made that up wasn't clever enough to also make up a reason. They weren't called Monkeys, brass or any other kind. Cannon balls were not stored on deck long term in the salt air and spray on the off chance that a warship moving at a snail's pace would sneak up on them. They were stored below deck under waxed tarps to keep them from rusting. When they were brought up on deck they were placed not into dimpled metal plates, but into wooden frames that held the balls into place.

The earliest uses of the "cold enough" in relation to a brass monkey was cold enough to freeze the ears, nose, feet and tail off a brass monkey, so it naturally follows that other external items of a monkey would also be used. Many references wete also of the "hot enough" variety, as in hot enough to singe the hair or tail off a brass monkey.

No one knows where the true origin of the cold/hot enough for a brass monkey originated. These types of Internet-invented etymologies come from the same types of folks who brought you the origins of "raining cats and dogs" as being the thatched roofs of early farmhouses upon which livestock routinely grazed upon and pets played upon, and whenever it rained the animals slipped off the roof, raining animals. It's raining yaks and oxen.

Joke killer. :p

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Turtle

Administrator
Staff member
Retired Expediter
Hey, there are some people who believe a lot of The Onion is really and truly, sometimes secretly, true. Others, believe it or not, believe Fox News is fair and balanced. Me? I've got a dog and three cats and a cow on the roof that need feeding.
 

moose

Veteran Expediter
Joke killer. :p
the phrase you are looking for is 'party pooper' - which i'v also wondered where it came from.
i mean to make it into our vocabulary it's either had to be a real famous party, or a really big pile of crap.
 
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