The following is a true story. It happened out on the road late one night like all good stories do. The names have been changed because I don't remember them and they really aren't important. I will refer to the stars of this broadcast as Ben and Jerry.
I was driving late one night in the early 1980's and I was listening in on a converstation between two other drivers. I could hear them off in the distance and their signal was gradually getting stronger. Ben was trying to pry some terrible secret from Jerry. Ben would tell Jerry that it would be therapeutic if he talked about it. Jerry would start to open up and then his voice would crack and he would say it is just too terible to talk about. Ben kept prodding him with questions. When asked how long ago since this incident happened, Ben replied, 10 years ago this July. He remembered it was hot and very humid. Then he broke down and said he couldn't talk about it. It was still too painful.
I'm thinking this guy has some war story from Vietnam or came upon some horrific traffic accident and it had bothered him all these years. For this short period of time and this limited radio range these two guys owned channel 19. Nobody cut in on their conversation. Nobody tried to pick a fight. Everyone was quiet waiting for Jerry to spill his guts.
Finally with more coaxing from Ben, Jerry began his story. His voice was filled with emotion and he sounded like he was fighting back tears. He started again... It was a hot, humid night in July. I had just pulled into a Union 76 truck stop and was getting ready for bed. It had rained earlier and steam was rising from the hot pavement. I had both windows rolled down and was lying on top of the bed covers wearing my Spider Man jammies. Looking back now I realize it was the Spider Man jammies that saved my life.
Right on cue Ben asks how pajamas saved his life. Jerry continued... I was just dozing off when I heard a loud distant rumble and felt the truck shake. (I'm thinking earthquake story at this point) The rumbling got louder and the truck pitched from side to side. I sprang from my bunk and through the open window, doing a tuck and roll as I hit the ground. I ended up safely under my trailer hiding behind the duals. It was the Spider Man jammies that allowed me to quickly get to safety. As I peered out from between the tires I saw a huge spaceship land. A hoard of Ventians, not those gondola paddling guys from Italy, but real Ventians. The kind that come from Venus were exiting the spacecraft.
Jerry went on to describe these Ventians as about 3 feet tall with a rotating stainless steal drill bit type appendage protruding from their chests. This appendage was used to bore a hole into the kneecap of a human victim and then could suck the intelligence right out of that person. Jerry went on in detail describing the chaos he witnessed unfolding in that truck stop lot. He said he saw a huge man leave the restaurant with a thermos of coffee in each hand. The man was barefoot, wearing bib overalls and no shirt. He strolled across the parking lot without a care in the world. A Ventian approached him and the giant man just looked down and smiled. That's when the Ventian drilled him in the kneecap and sucked out all his intelligence. Jerry said he looked into the big man's eyes and could see a light on but nobody was home.
Again on cue Ben asked about the Ventians. Jerry explained that the huge orange Union 76 balls were beacons to guide Ventian spaceships. And that the Ventians had entered into a deal with the railroads to gain control of the trucking industry and eventually the country. He pointed out that one never sees a Teamster official wearing shorts. That's because of the telltale scar on the kneecap. Even Teddy Kennedy doesn't wear shorts when sailing off the coast of Martha's Vineyard. He's got something to hide. He went on about the plot against the trucking industry and included the government and oil companies. Very entertaining.
Eventually Ben and Jerry passed me and were out of radio range. It is hard to explain just how professional and riveting this broadcast was. All it needed was some organ music and cheesey sound effects and it could pass for an old time radio show.
I have to admit that most of what is heard on channel 19 is garbage, but occasionally you come across a gem. I did and still get a chuckle thinking about it.
I retold this tale to a friend I ran with every night. He got a kick out of it. Whenever our terminal manager or dispatch came up with some stupid idea, we would look at each other and say, "I don't believe I have ever seen that person in shorts." So if you know somebody that never wears shorts and acts as though all their intelligence has been sucked out of them, they may have a small circular scar on their kneecap.
I was driving late one night in the early 1980's and I was listening in on a converstation between two other drivers. I could hear them off in the distance and their signal was gradually getting stronger. Ben was trying to pry some terrible secret from Jerry. Ben would tell Jerry that it would be therapeutic if he talked about it. Jerry would start to open up and then his voice would crack and he would say it is just too terible to talk about. Ben kept prodding him with questions. When asked how long ago since this incident happened, Ben replied, 10 years ago this July. He remembered it was hot and very humid. Then he broke down and said he couldn't talk about it. It was still too painful.
I'm thinking this guy has some war story from Vietnam or came upon some horrific traffic accident and it had bothered him all these years. For this short period of time and this limited radio range these two guys owned channel 19. Nobody cut in on their conversation. Nobody tried to pick a fight. Everyone was quiet waiting for Jerry to spill his guts.
Finally with more coaxing from Ben, Jerry began his story. His voice was filled with emotion and he sounded like he was fighting back tears. He started again... It was a hot, humid night in July. I had just pulled into a Union 76 truck stop and was getting ready for bed. It had rained earlier and steam was rising from the hot pavement. I had both windows rolled down and was lying on top of the bed covers wearing my Spider Man jammies. Looking back now I realize it was the Spider Man jammies that saved my life.
Right on cue Ben asks how pajamas saved his life. Jerry continued... I was just dozing off when I heard a loud distant rumble and felt the truck shake. (I'm thinking earthquake story at this point) The rumbling got louder and the truck pitched from side to side. I sprang from my bunk and through the open window, doing a tuck and roll as I hit the ground. I ended up safely under my trailer hiding behind the duals. It was the Spider Man jammies that allowed me to quickly get to safety. As I peered out from between the tires I saw a huge spaceship land. A hoard of Ventians, not those gondola paddling guys from Italy, but real Ventians. The kind that come from Venus were exiting the spacecraft.
Jerry went on to describe these Ventians as about 3 feet tall with a rotating stainless steal drill bit type appendage protruding from their chests. This appendage was used to bore a hole into the kneecap of a human victim and then could suck the intelligence right out of that person. Jerry went on in detail describing the chaos he witnessed unfolding in that truck stop lot. He said he saw a huge man leave the restaurant with a thermos of coffee in each hand. The man was barefoot, wearing bib overalls and no shirt. He strolled across the parking lot without a care in the world. A Ventian approached him and the giant man just looked down and smiled. That's when the Ventian drilled him in the kneecap and sucked out all his intelligence. Jerry said he looked into the big man's eyes and could see a light on but nobody was home.
Again on cue Ben asked about the Ventians. Jerry explained that the huge orange Union 76 balls were beacons to guide Ventian spaceships. And that the Ventians had entered into a deal with the railroads to gain control of the trucking industry and eventually the country. He pointed out that one never sees a Teamster official wearing shorts. That's because of the telltale scar on the kneecap. Even Teddy Kennedy doesn't wear shorts when sailing off the coast of Martha's Vineyard. He's got something to hide. He went on about the plot against the trucking industry and included the government and oil companies. Very entertaining.
Eventually Ben and Jerry passed me and were out of radio range. It is hard to explain just how professional and riveting this broadcast was. All it needed was some organ music and cheesey sound effects and it could pass for an old time radio show.
I have to admit that most of what is heard on channel 19 is garbage, but occasionally you come across a gem. I did and still get a chuckle thinking about it.
I retold this tale to a friend I ran with every night. He got a kick out of it. Whenever our terminal manager or dispatch came up with some stupid idea, we would look at each other and say, "I don't believe I have ever seen that person in shorts." So if you know somebody that never wears shorts and acts as though all their intelligence has been sucked out of them, they may have a small circular scar on their kneecap.
But I'll sure be noticing other people's knees, now...
