Which Is Farther
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns
and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic
it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says
the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her
left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and
screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise
she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a
redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down
his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!"
the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said,
"We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're
going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the
American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land
on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To
which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is
it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named
Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're
watch dogs!"
CROSSING THE RIVER
A blonde was out for a walk. She came to a river, and saw another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouted, "How can I get to the other side?" The other blonde looked back, then looked up the river, then down the river. Then she shouted back, "You are on the other side!"
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns
and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic
it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says
the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her
left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and
screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise
she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a
redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down
his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!"
the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said,
"We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're
going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the
American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land
on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To
which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is
it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named
Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're
watch dogs!"
CROSSING THE RIVER
A blonde was out for a walk. She came to a river, and saw another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouted, "How can I get to the other side?" The other blonde looked back, then looked up the river, then down the river. Then she shouted back, "You are on the other side!"
