AUTO REPAIR
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says,
"What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often
do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back, "You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time
and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of
yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out
her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer
sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still
sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing
the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm
rechecking my answers."
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to
kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little
boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a
brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag
was the following note....
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says,
"What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often
do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect
me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back, "You ARE on the other side."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time
and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of
yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out
her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer
sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still
sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing
the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and
asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm
rechecking my answers."
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to
kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little
boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the
big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go
straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a
brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag
was the following note....
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!
