Bikers

[louixo]

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, she does, and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous
Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

 

[AMonger]

That brings to mind another bridge jumping story, this one courtesy of Emo Phillips, who was Emo before Emo was cool.

I was walking one night and there was a man on the edge of a bridge, preparing to jump, so I thought maybe I should talk to him to delay him...long enough to get the film in.

So I asked him why he was jumping, and he said "Nobody loves me."

I said, "Don't be ridiculous. God loves you, you silly ninny."

He thought about it for a moment and said, "I do believe in God."

I said, "Me too. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said "A Christian."

I said "Me, too. Are you a baptist or a methodist?"

He said, "A baptist."

I said, "Me, too. Are you a northern baptist, or a southern baptist?"

He said, "A northern baptist."

I said, "Me, too. A northern conservative baptist or a northern liberal baptist?"

He said, "A northern conservative baptist."

I said, "Me, too. A northern conservative fundamentalist baptist, or a northern conservative reformed baptist?"

He said, "A northern conservative fundamentalist baptist."

And I said, "Me, too. A northern conservative fundamentalist baptist--Great Lakes region, or a Northern conservative fundamentalist baptist--eastern region?"

And he said, "A northern conservative fundamentalist baptist--Great Lakes region."

And I said, "Me, too. Northern conservative fundamentalist baptist--Great Lakes region, confession of 1789, or a northern conservative fundamentalist baptist--Great Lakes region, confession of 1824?"

And he said, "Northern conservative fundamentalist baptist--Great Lakes region, confession of 1824."

And I said, "DIE, HERETIC!" And I pushed him!