I love my job!!!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver
for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
off-shore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who
was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well
until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony
I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my
dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the
fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I
could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver
for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on
off-shore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She
then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who
was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I
first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It
heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds
like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well
until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony
I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my
dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the
fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I
could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down
his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as
soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
