The Ant and the Grasshopper CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dance and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse
then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake
Tom Daschle Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter
Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper an a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY - WATCHOUT WHO YOU VOTE FOR.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks
he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dance and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home
with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and
everybody cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse
then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake
Tom Daschle Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter
Jennings that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and
both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair
share."
Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper
Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing
left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper an a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of
federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare
recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't
maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY - WATCHOUT WHO YOU VOTE FOR.