ACTUAL Reuters Headline

[Turtle]

Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters

Best quote from the article:

"I was a little sloppy out of the blocks, but I was able to hold on."

Second best quote:

"It wasn't bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end," Gay said. "I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn't enough."



In an unrelated but equally funny twist of prose from Reuters:

Viagra-popping seniors lead the pack for STDs

Even if you're past your prime and have a hard time getting an erection, you might still need to worry about unprotected sex, according to U.S. doctors.

In fact, they report in the Annals of Internal Medicine, the rate of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in older men taking erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra is twice as high as in their non-medicated peers.

In both groups, however, the numbers are swelling.

Seriously.

 

[pjjjjj]

In fact, they report in the Annals of Internal Medicine, the rate of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in older men taking erectile dysfunction drugs like Viagra is twice as high as in their non-medicated peers.

I can't help wondering who they're getting the STDs FROM.