A Redneck's Drivers License Application

TeamBud8

Seasoned Expediter
Last name: ________________
First name (check appropriate box):


[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe
[_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray
[_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue
[_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae
[_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack
[_] Bobby-Beth-Ann

Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right If no shoes,put nun_______

Occupation:
[_] Trailer Park Landlord
[_] Truckdriver
[_] Farmer
[_] Backyard Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser
[_] Truckstop Waitress
[_] Waffle House Cook
[_] Unemployed
[_] Dirty Politician
[_] Moonshine Runner

Spouse's Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: _________________________
Lover's Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse:

[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother
[_] Uncle
[_] Mother
[_] Son
[_] Father
[_] Daughter
[_] Cousin
[_] Pet

Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number of children that are yours: ___
Number of outhouses ____

Mother's Name: _______________________
Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)


Education: 1 2 3 4 5 6(Circle highest grade completed)

Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home?

Year of mobile home 197_

Vehicles you own and where you keep them?

___ Total number of vehicles you own Cars_____ Trucks_____
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks Cars_____ Trucks_____

How many firearms you own? ____

Where do you keep them?

____ truck
____ kitchen
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ shed
____ outhouse
____ with your wife's/significant other's camoflage lingerie

Model of your pickup: _____________

Year pickup produced: 197____

Do you have a gun rack?

[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:_________________________

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to?

[_] The National Enquirer
[_] The Globe
[_] High Times
[_] TV Guide
[_] Soap World
[_] Rifle and Shotgun
[_] BowHunter
[_] Nascar Illustrated
[_] Coloring Book, and crayons
[_] Can't read

___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times in a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe?

[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable

Where do you bathe?

[_] Kitchen sink
[_] Bathtub
[_] Creek

How many teeth do you have? ___

Color of teeth:

[_] Yellow
[_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown
[_] Black
[_] None

Brand of flavor chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Winter Green
_______________
What kind of toothpaste do you use?
[_] Crest Advanced
[_] Pepsodent
[_] Ultrabrite
[_] None...Why bother

How far is your home from a paved road?

[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] what is a paved road?

Nearest racetrack from your trailer?
_________________
 
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