A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever
done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. >
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.
"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a
gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave
her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most
heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back
off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago."
*****************************************************
I had been on the road for about three weeks, and had just got home. The wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive.
So I took her to a gas station.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around seeing the sights and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood of big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst
of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really must urinate after all those Guinness pints. He finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent
buildings and aims to use the wall to solve his problem. As he unzips, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby who says,
"I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO
GO, and just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," says the bobby, "just follow me, sir" He leads him to a back"delivery alley" then along a wall to a gate which he opens.
"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured
hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the
bobby, "That was decent of you; is that what you call 'English Hospitality'?
"No, sir" says the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."
done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. >
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.
"Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a
gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave
her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most
heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back
off!! Or you'll answer to me!"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple minutes ago."
*****************************************************
I had been on the road for about three weeks, and had just got home. The wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive.
So I took her to a gas station.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around seeing the sights and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.
After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood of big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst
of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.
He really, really must urinate after all those Guinness pints. He finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent
buildings and aims to use the wall to solve his problem. As he unzips, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby who says,
"I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO
GO, and just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," says the bobby, "just follow me, sir" He leads him to a back"delivery alley" then along a wall to a gate which he opens.
"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."
The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured
hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the
bobby, "That was decent of you; is that what you call 'English Hospitality'?
"No, sir" says the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."