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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat...

A few months ago, I upgraded from DrinkingMates 4.2 to Girlfriend 1.0 which I had been told for years wouldn't give me any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make...

The Beer Prayer Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed by they drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we foregive those who spill against us. And lead us not into incarceration, But deliver us...

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time whilst stuck behind bars. On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to...

By way of background, the Bulwer-Lytton contest was started in 1982 by the English Department at California's San Jose State University to honor the Victorian novelist who opened his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" with what were to become the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night". The...

You just got to enjoy the small humor in everyday life. I just unloaded at the ford plant in St. Paul MN. The security asked for my trailer # I told them "My truck # is 3297" they then told me they needed my trailer # i informed them that i was a straight truck and did not have a trailer. They...

Voss truck port in Cuba MO. Large lot both paved and dirt very dusty. ok buffet for $10 store has no Merchandise shelfs are empty and has been for sometime. Country Kitchen, pizza hut, McDonalds, jack in the box and hardy's with in walking distance. Small Wal-mart about the size of an autozone...

Redneck Math Challenge I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam: 1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of these cars will rust...

Well this is my first time setting out here. i have been running what i thought was prety good for my first week. Running back and forth from MI to VA. i needed to get a reset in so i put down in virginia beach and the freight dried up. not counting my reset i've been here a full day and so far...